Oh Gentle Readers, you must forgive me for being lax in my communications to you, but things have been good and not good here in the forests behind the Pine Curtain! As Chief Priest, it has been my duty to nurse and comfort the Black Devil who suffered from a terrible cancer. He developed a tumor in his lymph gland beside his neck which grew in two weeks to the size of a fist. He had to take an operation of the utmost danger and delicacy, from which, with my help, he emerged victorious. Selah.
I have nursed him through the month of May and June, even sleeping in the same chair with him as a comfort as he has a terrible line of stitches from his neck to his jaw which will be removed this Tuesday. I have a picture of us which I will post later.
Cliocatra hates me with even more vengeance than ever. The hissing and growling never cease when I wander near her. It is all I can do not to cast a spell upon her, but I fear she might cast one back on me! She has powers almost equal to mine. Why only yesterday I was but toying with a leaf of the gardenia on the porch when she leaned from her chair to slash at me. I was forced to inch backward while in a sitting position to avoid her evil claws. Her hatred knows no bounds!
The other diversion is that I have acquired an airplane! Thus I may fly over the city, spreading my enlightenment and wisdom to all. In fact, several cities. I have a photograph of it also which I shall post soon. My handlers are ever so kind to me. I have come to love reclining in the bed during the day, on my back, my back feet propped up on pillows as I prepare for the nightly wanderings and rituals.
Just this week I found, toyed with, and consumed a small black mouse in the back yard. My pleasure was immense and I tossed it about and ran amok through the bahia grass! It harkened back to my ancient ancestors on the banks of the Nile, who also enjoyed a rodent indulgence.
My handlers have planted a garden which is producing many long, green, somewhat vulgar looking vegetables. They are quite upset however due to the fact that what they call squash is not making. It seems to be a sexual issue having to do with male and female blooms and a lack of bees. My handlers are out attempting to manually pollinate the female flowers, which I find hilariously funny. One of them almost fell out the other morning, staggering about with male flower in hand, searching for the female flower with the tiny squash attached. I doubt they will have squash!
I have discovered a lovely diversion called toilet paper. I can stand on my hind legs and use my front feet to twirl the roll on a rod. Mass lengths of white funereal bindings unwind as a result, but my handlers get most upset when I play this wonderful game. It is truly an Egyptian pastime! If only I could mummify Cliocatra and wrap her in the bindings!
That, gentle readers, is the extent of my musings today. My photographic posts will soon follow, with my plane and my time with the Black Devil. Please keep in mind that Bobby Hotep is thinking of you all most gently, until I epistle again!
