!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!COMING ATTRACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, Dear Readers,

This is indeed a Red Letter Day!  The mighty Hotep has weaved his magic spell from the Great Pyramid in the sky, and decreed that his mother produce a small Bob, who like himself, will be destined for greatness!

Let us all praise the great Amenhotep for his awesome powers and his attention to Bob's keepers' sorrow and loss.  Bob has been so greatly missed, and his readers have had to do without his reports of doings in and about the Avinger environs.  But no more.  Help is on the Way.

On March 4, 2017, on a street called Pinecrest in the City of Avinger, a baby Bob was born!  He has been acquired by Bob's keepers and is currently enjoying all the things babies love:  playing, sleeping, eating and pooping.  Of course we do not yet know if he will rise to emulate his great 1/2 brother, Bobby Hotep, but we expect great things from him.

He also had brothers and sisters who were acquired by Jane Yarbrough, Linda and Ken Loyd, and Pam Downs.  We do not know at this writing whether they are boys or girls, but we'll keep you informed.

Isn't it just like Hotep to provide an heir here at Easter when our blessed Saviour rose from his grave?  So the mighty Hotep sent down from his pyramid a baby to provide blessings and enlightenment once again in the great city of Avinger!

Here are some pictures of the Baby Hotep.  Enjoy and know that the saga will continue as Bob had wished.  Truly God is great!

 

This is baby Bob at 4 weeks old, just when he arriveD at his keepers' home.  You can see that he looks snappy and intelligent!

As you can see, he has inherited the large, Hotep feet of his famous 1/2 brother!  He also has no tail just like the great Hotep.   Great things are in store for this baby.  Join us all in celebrating the birthday of little Bob and all his brothers and sisters.  Congratulations to all the new keepers of the Hotep flame, and may they experience all the blessings and enlightenment that Bob so longed to spread over his beloved city of Avinger.

Carmen Possum

My dear Readers, here is my friend, Carmen.  He comes nightly to eat persimmons under the tree in the back yard as well as to snarf up any cat food my keepers may put out for him.  He is a small possum to be over a year old, but his tail has become very long!

All my friends have been killed by the dog pack.  Patches, Coach and Linda Loyd's calico is gone.  Blackie, my best friend who was feral and lived under Patty Pitchford's front porch is gone.  Cliocatra is gone.  They even killed Kim Parr's cat and her little dog.  My keepers notified the sheriff who sent a deputy to call on the dogs' owner.  He was letting them out every morning about 6 and every night about 10 to run wild in the neighborhood.  My keepers now have a weapon.

I hope to find some new feline friends, it's rather lonely at the moment around here. 

The Sad Facts

I have the sad duty to advise Bob's faithful readers that he passed away the week before Thanksgiving, 2016.  I haven't been able to write about it before.  He was making his daily rounds when he came upon a big copperhead snake in the woods down below Cemetery Hill.  It must have been a battle, because we found the snake lying beside him.

He had been missing for several days, and the hunt was on frantically to find him.  Angel, one of his keepers, found him on Saturday before Thanksgiving after he'd not come home for 3 days.  He has been cremated, as a good Egyptian priest would be, and is resting in a beautiful cedar box on the hall shelf where he loved to sit and meditate.

I know if he were here, he would urge that his blog be continued for the enlightenment and blessings of all his followers.  Fortunately, his home of origin was located by accident and his mother is about to give birth to another batch of potential Hoteps.  His keepers have their name in the pot for a baby Bob, and we will keep you posted should one be acquired!

Bob was a very special priest, and there will never be another to match him.  His is now in the Great Pyramid with his mentor, and I'm sure they are having marvelous adventures together in his new, spiritual home.  While we mourn him for our loss, we celebrate the belief in the Egyptian Afterlife, knowing that the Mighty Hotep is in his plane, flying high above us, still showering blessings and light over the city of Avinger he loved.

BOB BROSS FOR PRESIDENT!!

Well, Dear Readers,  I have concluded that the only hope for a great American future is for me, Bob Bross,  the Mighty Hotep, Priest to all, to run for President.  I am writing to solicit your write-in vote during the upcoming.  The amount of manure being shoveled at present is such that a clear, pure wind of change needs to blow though our great country, and I am the cat with the plan!

I promise a chicken, or at least a dove, in every pot!  Also,  I will see that guns are outlawed - cats do not like them - in favor of sticks!  If someone wants to attack, let em do it with a stick, after all, isn't that what Teddy Roosevelt said? 

I promise not to alert the media.  Cats don't like media - it makes them nervous.  Hoteps prefer the ancient Egyptian method of getting the word out - writing!  Turn off those TV's and look outside - it's a beautiful world out there.  As I range around my town, spreading blessings and light, I love looking at the upcoming Fall colors, and the grasses.  Forget the sticktights.  They are awful!

Things here in Hotep-land have been very busy since spring.  The great mentor, Tony Bridge, went to the pyramid in the sky.  I know he is there with the other priests, seeing that Heaven is fit for radio!  I miss him every day.

I have some very sad news - a pack of dogs killed my nemesis, Cliocatra.  I miss her too.  I have put a curse on the dogs for I really was fond of her.  She kept my skills sharp and she was very loving in her own way.  It is lonely without her, but another entity appeared and has moved in with my keepers!  Pam Downs' cat came to live with my keepers.  They call him Barney, and we have a wonderful time together racing about in my keepers' temple.

He is not a priest, except maybe a priest of love!  He is kind of a fearful cat, very high strung.  I make the most of that from time to time, hiding and jumping out at him which gives me immense pleasure!  He is a very large cat, big boned as they say.  Fluffy too.  He'll never be a priest.

Carmen, the possum, comes nightly now to partake of the persimmons falling from the tree.  I sit under a chair in the back to observe and visit with him.  He is a small and very friendly possum, and I enjoy watching his nocturnal visits.  He does love my dry food, and I try to leave some for him.  He tips up the bowl when he's finished to be sure he got the last bite.  Smart Carmen.  If you have never read the poem "Carmen Possum", you owe it to yourself to look it up on the internet!  It's quite wonderful, a somewhat Latin effort!

I attended the Avinger Wine Festival.  It was a great success, I strolled through the wine garden and checked out the food vendors.  No food befitting a Hotep though.  I have spoken to Ms. Ronnie Politi and she assures me priest food will be on next years' menu.  Oh the lovely fruit of the vine, a great Egyptian favorite.  Think of the famous Persian poet, Omar Kayyam!  "A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou beside me in the wilderness!"  Doesn't that just bespeak Avinger?

I believe I have advised you most of the excitement here in the land of the Hotep.  I'm afraid I have to see the Physician to the Priests tomorrow.  I may be slightly wormy.  A pill is waiting, and my keepers are loathe to give them to me.  Better the Physician than the keepers administer such things to a major priest!  We do not like pills and are apt to bring out our weaponry when one is in the offing!

Blessings upon you all, my Precious Readers.  Remember on November 8, whether you support your Hotep for President, be sure to get out and vote.  It is your sacred franchise!  Until I write again, I remain as ever,

Bobby Hotep,  The Priest with the Plan

PS:  I will send you all my Halloween picture.  This year I am going out as Bat Cat.  I have a fabulous mask which I will wear to the animal Ball!  Look about you on Oct. 31, that Night of Frights.  Who knows, you may see a Masked Hotep sail by!!

Prayer for a Fellow Priest

Oh my dear readers, how long it has been since I, your fabulous Hotep, have sent you an epistle to apprise you of my doings in and around the Avinger environs!  But now I write to implore your prayers and sacrifices on behalf of a dear and fellow Priest, the Most Luminous Tony Bridge, late of Marshall, Texas.  It was he who discovered the genealogical connection between yours truly and the great Amenhotep of Egypt, and led me to discover my awesome priestly powers.

That famous radio Hall of Famer is lying in serious condition following a fall in his temple.  He has had surgery for a terrible fracture in his neck, and even the most powerful priest lies with a ventilator tube down his throat.  His Priestess, the lovely JoAnn, the light of his life who for 62 years has shared his triumphs and his failings is now languishing, waiting to see what befalls her beloved.

I am applying my powers and blessings abilities to insure his recovery, and I ask you, my loyal readers, to supplicate whatever powers you hold dear to advocate for his recovery.  I have been told that he was improved today, and we must fervently hope that every day leads to his continued recovery and that the mighty Amenhotep will appear in his radiance to lead the physicians and nurses to assist him in getting better all the time!

I will send you word as to my doings later.  They have been many and life here behind the Pine Curtain has been most active in May and June!  I have changed my living arrangements twice and been subjected to all sorts of bizarre happenings so far this summer.  I will tell you the details in my next epistle.

For now, however, simply extend your supplications Heavenward to the Mighty Powers that be and seek that Tony may rise up from his sick bed to once more take his place as the Voice of the Century for East Texas!  Your Hotep sends his blessings and hopes you and yours are having a lovely late spring and early summer.

MARDI GRAS 2016

My Dear Readers:

Here is your Bobby of the fair city writing to you in celebration of the joyous Mardi Gras season!  Do you not love the Mardi Gras, with its parades, music, masques, festoons, buffoons and feasts prior to the solemn season of Lent?  Do you not anguish over what to give up for Lent in order to remind yourself of the trials the Christians suffered?

Even Egyptian priests, such as myself, take advantage of all holidays of every religious persuasion, there are so many wonderful traditions to celebrate!  But the Mardi Gras is one of my favorites.

This year, I am Captain of the Krewe of Hotep, and I have included a picture of myself in my finery.  I have been busy organizing a great party with Coach Lloyd's cats down at the old wash house!  I am arranging a splendid and beautifully decorated King Cake of tuna, with a mouse hidden inside for luck.  We shall revel under the wash house, playing at dice and dancing to Creole tunes sung by the local Cattulus Choir.  The King Cake shall be consumed, and the lucky feline who finds the mouse shall have great bounty in the coming year!

There is a new member of the neighborhood who certainly could lend a voice to the choir - it is loud and raucous, but that feline is of unfriendly temperament and also has no sense of civility at all.  It comes into my yard at all hours, that awful voice wailing, and sits on my porch without permission.  I see it daily and wonder what kind of trash it must belong to to be so uncultured.   It will not be invited to the celebration.

A small gray feline has been coming to my porch, and my keepers have been feeding it.  He is very respectful, and follows me about.  He is quite handsome, gray all over, but very frail.  My keepers have transported him to the Doctor to the Priests, Dennis Seymore of Daingerfield, where I'm sure his credentials will be removed and he will be deloused.  The keepers are hoping to find him a wonderful home, and I hope he finds one also.  I endeavored to protect him from that awful loud cat who attempted to hurt him daily. 

As you can see, life has been quite busy in the new year.  Trying to decorate my float for Mardi Gras has kept me up at night, some of which have been quite chilly!  I am using my barge to make the float, and hopefully can engage Coach Lloyd's cats as oarsmen.  I love sitting on my barge on my gilt throne in my regalia, spreading enlightenment and blessings over all of Avinger.  This is truly a wonderful place to call home.  The folks here are kind and I try to visit as many as possible each week.

Cliocatra is attending the Mardi Gras in a Haitian costume.  I have included her photograph too.  She was a bit hesitant at first, but her headdress convinced her to accompany me in the parade.  I think it may have been a bit too tight on her head, though. 

And so, my dears, I must be about my business.  I wish you all delicious king cake galore, beads, and music every day until Wednesday.  Let the vino flow and the feasting be divine!  And if you should hear the felines singing, just remember, they sing for me!

Lez Bon Temp Roulez!!

Your Bobby Hotep

Happy Thanksgiving!

Dear Readers:

A very Happy Thanksgiving to you all!  I have been quite busy these last several months.  The hunting has been exceptional.  Of course, I do not hunt deer, but I captured a huge dove and presented it to Cliocatra on the porch.  As I lounged, savoring my kill and feeling quite the warrior, she devoured it with relish.  Only one feather was left when she was done.  Dove meat is one of her favorites!

With the recent rains, the leaves are more colorful than before.  I stroll around the neighborhood, taking in the sights and visiting all my friends.  I have been to see Pam Downs, and Coach and Linda Lloyd.  I visited my Aunt Sharon, who has moved into her new trailer since my last epistle.  She has very steep steps though, and I haven't actually gone in to see her.  I prefer to sit on top of her car and call to her.

I was able to catch a squirrel the other day, and of course we (Cliocatra and I) consumed all but the tail which we left under the chair for our keepers.  Nothing like a good squirrel!

The moon has been full these last few nights, and I love to spend the whole night outside, watching all the wildlife.  Armadillos, foxes, possums, coons, and dogs all come by late at night.  Sometimes I see other cats, but since I've become so buff, they don't bother me.  I am truly a well muscled specimen now!

There is a plague of ticks going on.  My keepers are pulling 3 to 5 ticks off of me every time I come in.  They got some medicine to put on me that will repel the ticks and I am so glad.  I just can't stand a tick.

I have a new photo of myself resting after a long night out.  Sometimes I have to sleep all day following a night of frolic and prowling. 

Be safe, dear Readers, and as we begin to prepare for the Christmas season, count your blessings and remember in spite of all the awful things on the TV, this is a wonderful world to live in!  I'm thankful for you all this beautiful season. 

Love,
Your Hotep

It's About Time!

My Dear Readers, did you think your Hotep had returned to Egypt never to send another epistle!  I myself wondered what had become of me.  The Spring this year was terribly wet, and I kept to my temple as I do not enjoy being wet or having wet feet.  As you know, there was flooding everywhere and I was hesitant to get out my barge for fear of being washed away.  My plane was grounded due to the inclement weather, so I just remained at home, resting and thinking of all of you, hoping you were safe.




And then, just when it seemed that the elements had returned to normal, it became as hot as the desert!  I left the temple and set out to make my rounds.  The hunting was outstanding during the summer.  I was able to catch numerous rats and rabbits, returning them and offering them to Cliocatra on my keepers' front porch.  She loved them, but my keepers were quite upset at the mess she made consuming them!  I do not enjoy partaking of wild game, but I love the chase and the conquest.  Therefore, I offer my spoils of hunting to Cliocatra who relishes game of all kinds.




Coach Lloyd's yellow and white cat came to visit yesterday.  It called and called for me, but I was in the bed with my keeper taking a nap and did not hear it.  I will make a point of making a visit first thing this morning.  I was exhausted yesterday afternoon as I had spent the entire day viewing the Avinger Wine Festival in my keeper's field.  There was so much to see and it was rather hot out there.


I have a picture to add which shows the extent of my exhaustion but my scribe is having issues adding it to this epistle.  I very often become frustrated with the scribe who seems to have an unclear understanding of how to amend my epistles.  Good help is certainly hard to find these days!

Ahhh, a few lashes of the claw, and the scribe miraculously has learned to add the picture!  One simply must know when to apply bondage and discipline!


One would think after so many quiet months I would have volumes of information to share, but time has slipped by like water through a sieve and I cannot remember all the days.  I will promise to do better by you, my loyal readers, and keep my epistles up to date from now on!  Until the next time, rest in the knowledge that I, your faithful Hotep, am conjuring blessings and goodness for you all.

Winter Days

https://www.youtube.com/watch?list=PLMVJWWJGW5CfXYo0VyNMpQf2GwsKrm-z8&v=uUUR2xA8gm8


Oh Dear Readers, I hope you are keeping warm during this awful cold we are having!  I have attached a link to the epistle I received from my cousin in the North Country, where the snow and blizzard is even worse than we have here in East Texas.  I hope you enjoy his picture.  He looks and acts very much like yours truly!

I have spent much of the last several days on my plush blue cot which matches the blue font and is wonderfully warm.  The sleet frightened me.  Being Egyptian I had never heard of or seen it, and when I walked out onto the porch I immediately turned and ran back inside.  But this morning I ventured out on my skis to view the countryside.  Of course, I'm referring to my large back feet which make wonderful furry skis!  I went cross country to see if I could spot any mice or rats, but they were in their woodpiles all safe and warm.  I skied home for a large breakfast and a delicious feast of liver and chicken.  Then I retired in front of the fire to let my morning meal settle and wash my skis.

On these cold days, I love to watch the birds.  Cedar waxwings, yards full of robins, cardinals, sparrows and red-wing blackbirds are there to enjoy.  My keepers have a bird feeder and it's easy to see all types of small birds there.  The robins stripped my keepers' holly tree of berries, and the cedar waxwings have stripped the cedar trees at Steve and Patty's house.  Blue jays swarm around the feeder, only to be routed by the cardinals, one of the most fierce of all birds!

My keepers added a small amount of rubbing alcohol to a spray bottle of cold water and cleared their windshields immediately.  The roads are very icy and really no one should be driving about. 

Please be careful in the ice and cold.  Stay inside and have some hot milk and enjoy these quiet cold days of winter.  They will pass soon enough.  Your Hotep thinks of you warmly.

A Horriblus Week

My Dear Readers,

This week has just been horrible!  Your Hotep has had all kinds of awful things happening.  Do you ever feel like sometimes the Fates are just playing with you?  That no matter what you do, things are going to be awful for a period of time?  Well, the Hotep has had just such a series of events and suffers from feelings of despair and often pain.  Let me share what has happened to me, and why my work and rituals have suffered in the last week!

First, on Thursday last one of my keepers went to Marshall and picked up a Jackal at the Super 1.  It had either run away or been abandoned.  For whatever reason, the keeper felt compelled to bring it home.  Hoteps loathe jackals!  They are enemies of all Hoteps and all felines everywhere.  So why, I ask you, would my keeper bring a Jackal into our happy Hotep home?  I cannot imagine, but it upset everything.  Cliocatra was even more livid than I.  For once, actually, we bonded and shared our keeper's bed one night, just to avoid that awful Jackal smile.  Here is a picture of the offending creature.  My keeper called it a Catahoula Lepard Dog, but it was a Jackal.  No use whitewashing it.

My keepers kept saying it was very sweet and well-behaved, but I knew better.  It licked me and tried to wash my ears.  You do not approach a Hotep in that manner!  But in this matter, your persistent Hotep prevailed.  The jackal was taken to Dr. Seymore's Vet clinic for boarding until a home can be found for it.  Hopefully in another country!!

Then, no sooner had the jackal been sent to perdition than my left back leg began to hurt.  I was limping badly, and my keepers could not find a problem, so then what happened?  Your Hotep was hauled off to Dr. Seymore's too!  Dr. Seymore should sell shares in his practice to my keepers!   They already own part of it.

Your Hotep had been accosted by the evil yellow feline from the lot next door to my home and I was getting another abscess on my leg!  Plus another on my shoulder.  I was fussed over by the ladies who work at the vet's office.  They love me for I shower blessings on them whenever I am there.  They were exclaiming over the fact that I've been working out at my food bowl.  I have bulked up this winter and now weigh 14 lbs.  A Hotep must keep in shape and be a manly Hotep if one is to perform priestly duties and shoot dice at night! 

Dr. Seymore gave me 5 shots, plus put a magical substance between my shoulder blades to keep all fleas, ticks, and mites far away from me.  I am at home, resting my leg and recovering.  I went out this morning for a short walk but became tired very quickly.  My keeper put some pain medicine in my ear and I am readying myself for a deep slumber.  The Hotep dreams of you, his dear Readers, and plans new blessings and rituals.  The first one is a way to eliminate that yellow feline! 

And so, my Gentle Readers, you now know the saga of how the Fates dealt with your Hotep this week.  I am sure to recover soon, and will be about my priestly duties once again.  Until then, remember that life is wonderful and when terrible things happen we can always learn lessons to benefit us later.  So if a jackal comes your way, or you get an abscess, look at it as a learning experience and think of the composed and slightly drugged Hotep, and smile!